Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Things You Should Know BEFORE Owning a Golden Retriever

Today we wanted to share a post from Mom's blog a while back when our siblings Cosmo and Rose Bud were youngsters.  We hope y'all enjoy it!   
Our oldest Golden Retriever turned seven on April 1st. We got Scarlet when she was just six weeks old and quickly fell in love with her. Within another six weeks, we had our second Golden, Rhett. (Rhett passed away three years ago.) It had been five (almost six) years since we'd had adolescent Golden Retrievers in our home. While I have often joked about the “first terrible two years” of a Golden Retriever’s life, I had truly forgotten just how trying a Golden puppy can be - that is until now. Cosmo will be one year old in a matter of weeks, and Rose Bud is six months old. Now all of the reasons we’d joked for so long over how hard it was to survive their puppy hood have come back to me. We’re learning again - the hard way.  (Cosmo is now well past two and Rose Bud will celebrate her second birthday in September.)

With that in mind, I would like to share some tips on owning a Golden. Retriever.

Here are a few things you need to know:

1. You do not own a Golden Retriever. The more accurate description is that they own YOU.
2. Golden Retrievers will chew. If you do not provide them something to chew, they will chew whatever they can find to chew. Amended: whether you provide chew toys or not, Golden Retrievers will chew whatever they can find to chew. *Furniture made from steel is recommended.*
3. People who choose to be owned by Golden Retrievers need to have the patience of Job. If patience is not a virtue that you possess, steer clear of Golden puppies. If it is a virtue in which you wish you had more, you definitely should acquire a Golden Retriever. They will teach you to have it by the boat loads!
4. Golden Retrievers need to be kept busy. If you don’t give them something constructive to do (play fetch, go for a walk, etc…) they will find something destructive to do.
5. Golden Retrievers will EAT anything. This goes beyond the chewing issue. Chewing just leaves your belongings unsightly. Eating involves digesting said object followed by the reproduction of the original object but not in its original form.
6. The whole “mine, yours, and ours” thing is not understood by a Golden Retriever. You should know up front that it is all theirs.
7. Unless you have the pitching arm of Nolan Ryan coupled with the patience of Job, a Golden Retriever is not for you. A Golden’s opinion of ball playing is “keep it coming”.
8. Golden Retrievers dig. My once luscious, green yard would now be a good host for a mud fight pit thanks to the multiple Golden Retrievers who spend part of their day in it.
9. Golden Retrievers LOVE water. Let me emphasize this: GOLDEN RETRIEVERS LOVE WATER. The only thing they love more than water is mud and when they can’t find mud, they make their own! Our dogs dig in their water bowl (as they are drinking and when they are not) then find the nearest pile of dirt and dig and roll and roll and dig until there is one pond size body of mud. (See above tip about digging. These two work together.)
10. Did you see the movie “UP”? (If not, it is a GREAT movie and you should definitely watch it!) Remember the scenes with the squirrels? Golden Retrievers love watching squirrels. We have acrobatic squirrels that spend the day jumping from tree branch to tree branch above our backyard. As they taunt our pups endlessly, our dogs stand “pointing” below while barking to one another what really sounds like, “SQUIRREL! SQUIRREL! SQUIRREL!”

While I could give many, many more examples, I will stop at ten. If you think that you can live through these ten things for at least the first two years: Congratulations! You should definitely get a Golden Retriever!! And if you do manage to survive those first two years, you really will be rewarded with the best dog in the world. These dogs truly do have hearts of gold!

(The above picture is Rose Bud and Cosmo. They were playing tug of war with one of my daughters boas.)

And Mom loved that stage so much as soon as Rose Bud and Cosmo matured, she got us and started all over again!!!!  BOL!!

Boondocks and Kudzu


  1. Woof! Woof! More Woofs I'm Golden Speechless cause I am a Golden retriever DOG. My mom loves your post. Some are true for us ... mom said she is lucky I was good - never chewed but I did ate anything (especially what ever I saw moved at the dog beach YIKES ... but learned my lesson). So true the 1st 2 years was both FUN n tiring to keep me busy. Actually took 5 years. I'm a bit calm down but still have lots of puppy moments which my mom is not complaining. Golden Dog are the best. Golden Heart n Woofs you forever. Lots of Golden LOVE n Woofs, Sugar

  2. So I am 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 7 (Two times over) and #10 unquestionably.

    Your lucky you came into a family that is so "Golden Aware"


  3. Mom had a Golden once and she agrees with just about all of your items. She also thinks we must have some Golden in us too:)

    Great post.

    Woos ~ Phantom, Thunder, and Ciara

  4. Very true. I think I'm the only golden who doesn't like water. I know how to swim but I won't go in the pool willingly.

  5. Hello there Boondocks, and all your Golden buddies...


    Thank you so much for visiting us and introducing yourself. It's great to meet you. We are going to enjoy following your life and adventures.

    As you know, we are also Golden fans and identify totally with your post. What a lovely, fun post it is too!

    Sending lotsaluv

  6. I *love* your list! And I love the movie "Up!" My favorite line, which sums up my golden's is, "My name is Dug. I have just met you, and I love you. " :)

    Great post!

  7. I think I got FAUX golden retrievers because they don't do anything on your list LOL They don't fetch, they don't dig, they don't like water, they don't chew things except for their own toys, they don't chase squirrels, they're lazy... hmmm, something seems very wrong here! :)

  8. That's so true! Great post!
    I don't like to play in the water, but I do love baths. - Thor
    I love to play in my water bowl!- Jack

  9. This is absolutely true.. I have 2 siblings , sisters Lacey and Lucy, that are now 4 months old.. what one does the other does.. and chew and dig and all of that .. so so true.. I have a ways to go though they are puppies for years.. I know this because these two darlings are my 2nd and 3rd Goldens.. love them though .. wouldnt have them any other way.. Vicki mom of 2 beautiful goldens..